Do you ever think about suicide?

Hi there all,

 

I did, but don't any more, for many years now.

 

From the day when I was 10 and half my family died in a car crash I had that thought but didn't understand it as I was 10. As I grew older and did understand it I figured "Hey I can always do that if things get too bad, right?" That was my backup strategy actually, believe it or not.

 

Well, at age 35, things DID get too bad following a marriage split. So I tried twice and pulled out twice as my kids came into my mind.

 

I couldn't do that and let them always think "Was it me?" or that shit. I've been prepared for anything since those tries. SO I know how to not suicide now. It's easy, you just say no to yourself. Got it?

 

Instead I decided to GO HARD at everything I did, booze, drugs, travel, anything. HARD and FAST. And WOW did I have some good times.

 

And it seems to have done the damage as I now find I have what seems to be fatal cancer, fast spreading. Which is my long term strategy of ending it all. Pretty damned pleasant it has been, Had so much funl, saw so much, met so many. It's been a gas, gas, gas as Mick would sing.

 

So now I'm about to have all the final tests and find out what's next. The main thing is MORPHINE so it doesn't hurt and I am fine with leaving. I've done everything I wanted. Just 1 more year to see my daughter through Uni and I'm happy to go.

 

What about you? Justy gonna keep plodding away, miserable as shit and do nothing. I say fucking go for it, enjoy what you have NOW. Hire purchase suicide if you like!!!!