Hi Y'all,
I find myself driven to raise this issue at a public level as it seems extremely risky to me.
I have been here several years now and my main interest has been in trying to help others with depression and similar illnesses to find their way through what is a most difficult time in our lives.
I say I am here to help people as that was my initial intent as I have vast experience and knowledge from the sufferer's point of view, not something I would have chosen but it was forced on to me by my body and life. Also from discussions with many people on forums outside Google and from many doctors with whom I have raised issues. I have been published on this topic 3 times, and paid, over a lot of time. I still have depression although I have been at peace for about a decade now. After 55 years of dealing with it.
When I first came here I found those on depression sites here to be extremely aggressive, resistant to any offers of help and most forced new people to act the way they did or leave. I would strongly urge anyone needing help on a forum to avoid the Google forums like the plague as they are bad news in every way.
I am strong enough to deal with the many problems people bring there. I am not concerned in the slightest what others may say about me, I know what I'm doing and why. Others have no clue as to my methods or discourse.
Basically I found there is a need to vary one's style of approach to anyone posting on these forums. Many just post a line saying "I feel like killing myself". Very common and it is meant to get attention and attract those that feel bad enough to stroke them.
After 15 years of writing on these forums I find you really have to read what is written before responding. If someone writes "I am going to kill myself tonight by xxxx, whatever method they mention", then those people DO NEED urgent attention and should be referred to their doctor, a hospital or an ER, immediately. We could also consider mentioning it to Police if we know where the person is.
This is totally different to someone who writes "I feel like killing myself". That person is simply trolling for attention and attracting all those who know no better. Over the years the best response to these people is something simple such as "Up to you, we cannot stop you from a forum, so you decide. I hope you decide to live but that is all up to you initially."
Of course some may take the second approach and actually follow through too. We cannot prevent that and falling over such people is misleading to them and others here reading this. That is the bottom line really. If someone wants to die, how on earth can anyone prevent them when we don't know who they are, where they are and so on. It's just not possible. If they really were going to suicide they would NOT post at all. It is well known that a high proportion of suicides will act on a whim, when drunk, on drugs etc, no though, no planning at all.
I've found that using the second approach tends to drag people out of their shells and they start writing about why they feel like that. Once they are doing that we have a great chance to help, guide them to help, which is always medical assistance FIRST. Preferably a psychiatrist if killing themselves is their statement. Shrinks are experts in dealing with that level of mental distress, nobody here is.
It is far too long a process for me to describe it to all of you but basically the idea is to get them to medical help and see what happens from there. Continued contact through forums is great as they then have support to tell them what the doc is trying to do etc.
HOWEVER. On Google, in the past year there have been a few nasty types of person who have appeared and are multiplying rapidly.
Some come here and have NO ILLNESS at all. They just want to ruin people's lives.
It seems every second person posts something saying "You can talk to me if you need help". Sounds good but I can assure you that the majority who are on a Depression Community are there because they are extremely ill and cannot deal with their own illness. Yet they want others to seek their help. That is a certain failure as those with little knowledge cannot help at all other than to offer platitudes, which I can assure you are totally devastating to us when we are suffering. People will say "I know where you are right now". Bullshit. No one but the individual posting has the faintest clue as to "where they are" so how can a no one with little knowledge help in that regard. Every case of depression is UNIQUE you see.
Or they will write "Take it easy, it'll get better." NO it won't unless the person has competent medical help. If you do nothing then the illness just gets worse and worse. Accepting you actually have it is a huge step but one needing a medical practitioner to diagnose, not a self diagnosis.
There are so many more meaningless phrases many spout to these desperate people and all it achieves is to make them feel like there is NO HELP at all. That encourages them to suicide.
Two more very dangerous types are growing rapidly also. One is the person who thinks they are the ONLY help available and pounce on new people who are highly vulnerable and highly suggestible too. There are people that will prey on these people by cosying up to them and then convince them to go elsewhere to talk with them. Hangouts is one such trap but they also create their own web sites to drag these people to or urge them into private emails.
If you look at that behaviour and understand what forums are for you must question the motives of those that want to "be alone" with a vulnerable person.I think the reason for that is bleedingly obvious and doubt any good motives at all. Don't you? The worst person who does this uses a number of user ID's and always has a second or third ID comment after they have to convince the new person. Devious and extremely nasty. That person wrote to me after I accused him of dual id's etc and he replied "I'm man enough to say yes, I do use multiple ID's." Brazenly flouting the "rules of Google.
Try telling Google staff about this and you get a response of NOTHING. They care not.
Then there are those who are convinced Big Pharma only exist to make money. Of course they do, they run businesses but the drugs they produce are tested and considered by governments BEFORE they are released.
Those that decry meds are usually people without the strength to actually use the meds as the doc prescribes. They take a couple of pills and then scream" Big Pharma are cheating me and my doc is a failure. Not so, they are the failures but they convince a number meds are useless and addictive.
In fact they are NOT ADDICTIVE at all and most of us who do take them do so only out of necessity. IE without meds we'd be lining up on cliffs around the world.
I AM SAYING TO GOOGLE RIGHT NOW THAT THEIR FORUMS ARE SIMPLY PROVIDING PREDATORS WITH THE ABILITY TO GET AT PEOPLE WHO ARE IN A WEAKENED STATE AND MANIPULATE THEM AS THEY WANT.
PEOPLE COULD BE DYING THROUGH LETTING THESE PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY DO. GOOGLE GET OFF YOUR ARSES AND PROTECT THESE PEOPLE ELSE THERE WILL BE A LAWSUIT THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR SITE AND REPUTATION, WHICH ISN'T GOOD ANYWAY.
EVEN SIMPLY PUTTING A MODERATOR OR THREE IN CHARGE OF THOSE COMMUNITIES WOULD PREVENT THIS DANGER. And no, I would not ever do that again, I've done it a few times and I've had enough.
I ask all who read this to ensure that others see it as well as this is a situation where REAL LIVES are at risk and RIGHT NOW.,
I find myself driven to raise this issue at a public level as it seems extremely risky to me.
I have been here several years now and my main interest has been in trying to help others with depression and similar illnesses to find their way through what is a most difficult time in our lives.
I say I am here to help people as that was my initial intent as I have vast experience and knowledge from the sufferer's point of view, not something I would have chosen but it was forced on to me by my body and life. Also from discussions with many people on forums outside Google and from many doctors with whom I have raised issues. I have been published on this topic 3 times, and paid, over a lot of time. I still have depression although I have been at peace for about a decade now. After 55 years of dealing with it.
When I first came here I found those on depression sites here to be extremely aggressive, resistant to any offers of help and most forced new people to act the way they did or leave. I would strongly urge anyone needing help on a forum to avoid the Google forums like the plague as they are bad news in every way.
I am strong enough to deal with the many problems people bring there. I am not concerned in the slightest what others may say about me, I know what I'm doing and why. Others have no clue as to my methods or discourse.
Basically I found there is a need to vary one's style of approach to anyone posting on these forums. Many just post a line saying "I feel like killing myself". Very common and it is meant to get attention and attract those that feel bad enough to stroke them.
After 15 years of writing on these forums I find you really have to read what is written before responding. If someone writes "I am going to kill myself tonight by xxxx, whatever method they mention", then those people DO NEED urgent attention and should be referred to their doctor, a hospital or an ER, immediately. We could also consider mentioning it to Police if we know where the person is.
This is totally different to someone who writes "I feel like killing myself". That person is simply trolling for attention and attracting all those who know no better. Over the years the best response to these people is something simple such as "Up to you, we cannot stop you from a forum, so you decide. I hope you decide to live but that is all up to you initially."
Of course some may take the second approach and actually follow through too. We cannot prevent that and falling over such people is misleading to them and others here reading this. That is the bottom line really. If someone wants to die, how on earth can anyone prevent them when we don't know who they are, where they are and so on. It's just not possible. If they really were going to suicide they would NOT post at all. It is well known that a high proportion of suicides will act on a whim, when drunk, on drugs etc, no though, no planning at all.
I've found that using the second approach tends to drag people out of their shells and they start writing about why they feel like that. Once they are doing that we have a great chance to help, guide them to help, which is always medical assistance FIRST. Preferably a psychiatrist if killing themselves is their statement. Shrinks are experts in dealing with that level of mental distress, nobody here is.
It is far too long a process for me to describe it to all of you but basically the idea is to get them to medical help and see what happens from there. Continued contact through forums is great as they then have support to tell them what the doc is trying to do etc.
HOWEVER. On Google, in the past year there have been a few nasty types of person who have appeared and are multiplying rapidly.
Some come here and have NO ILLNESS at all. They just want to ruin people's lives.
It seems every second person posts something saying "You can talk to me if you need help". Sounds good but I can assure you that the majority who are on a Depression Community are there because they are extremely ill and cannot deal with their own illness. Yet they want others to seek their help. That is a certain failure as those with little knowledge cannot help at all other than to offer platitudes, which I can assure you are totally devastating to us when we are suffering. People will say "I know where you are right now". Bullshit. No one but the individual posting has the faintest clue as to "where they are" so how can a no one with little knowledge help in that regard. Every case of depression is UNIQUE you see.
Or they will write "Take it easy, it'll get better." NO it won't unless the person has competent medical help. If you do nothing then the illness just gets worse and worse. Accepting you actually have it is a huge step but one needing a medical practitioner to diagnose, not a self diagnosis.
There are so many more meaningless phrases many spout to these desperate people and all it achieves is to make them feel like there is NO HELP at all. That encourages them to suicide.
Two more very dangerous types are growing rapidly also. One is the person who thinks they are the ONLY help available and pounce on new people who are highly vulnerable and highly suggestible too. There are people that will prey on these people by cosying up to them and then convince them to go elsewhere to talk with them. Hangouts is one such trap but they also create their own web sites to drag these people to or urge them into private emails.
If you look at that behaviour and understand what forums are for you must question the motives of those that want to "be alone" with a vulnerable person.I think the reason for that is bleedingly obvious and doubt any good motives at all. Don't you? The worst person who does this uses a number of user ID's and always has a second or third ID comment after they have to convince the new person. Devious and extremely nasty. That person wrote to me after I accused him of dual id's etc and he replied "I'm man enough to say yes, I do use multiple ID's." Brazenly flouting the "rules of Google.
Try telling Google staff about this and you get a response of NOTHING. They care not.
Then there are those who are convinced Big Pharma only exist to make money. Of course they do, they run businesses but the drugs they produce are tested and considered by governments BEFORE they are released.
Those that decry meds are usually people without the strength to actually use the meds as the doc prescribes. They take a couple of pills and then scream" Big Pharma are cheating me and my doc is a failure. Not so, they are the failures but they convince a number meds are useless and addictive.
In fact they are NOT ADDICTIVE at all and most of us who do take them do so only out of necessity. IE without meds we'd be lining up on cliffs around the world.
I AM SAYING TO GOOGLE RIGHT NOW THAT THEIR FORUMS ARE SIMPLY PROVIDING PREDATORS WITH THE ABILITY TO GET AT PEOPLE WHO ARE IN A WEAKENED STATE AND MANIPULATE THEM AS THEY WANT.
PEOPLE COULD BE DYING THROUGH LETTING THESE PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY DO. GOOGLE GET OFF YOUR ARSES AND PROTECT THESE PEOPLE ELSE THERE WILL BE A LAWSUIT THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR SITE AND REPUTATION, WHICH ISN'T GOOD ANYWAY.
EVEN SIMPLY PUTTING A MODERATOR OR THREE IN CHARGE OF THOSE COMMUNITIES WOULD PREVENT THIS DANGER. And no, I would not ever do that again, I've done it a few times and I've had enough.
I ask all who read this to ensure that others see it as well as this is a situation where REAL LIVES are at risk and RIGHT NOW.,
No comments:
Post a Comment