Hi again,
I know many of you would have married so do speak up.
Did you have a BIG wedding with all the trimmings and all the family, including the ones you don't like and never have?
Who paid for it and how much did it cost? Do you think that was good value at the time and what about now?
I once married and I thought I was in love, now I know it was simply lust. Oh God did she play games or not? Really fucked up my head and played with my emotions big time. We were in a shared house not too long after we got together, my best friend and her best friend as well, singly.
Well after about 3 months that wasn't good enough for her. I was only 18 at the time so wasn't looking for permanence really. Had no plans at all actually. Just ride the wave of life was me.
So, one Friday I come home and she's gone. Could not find her anywhere and her relatives said they didn't know either. Her best friend had left a couple of weeks before.
I had no idea what was going on and anxiety/panic was tearing me apart. SO I left as well and went back to my father's house in the absence of any alternative as I was becoming very ragged emotionally.
I even rang her half sister who did not like me and it was she who eventually told me "She's gone to New Zealand". I was stunned and just said "Why". She said she didn't know why either but gave me a phone number over there.
I rang and got her and asked her what was going on and she played the "What?" game. Drove me nuts.Over about three days it turned out she wanted to get married and wouldn'nt wait till I asked her. I had not even had the thought so it wasn't going to happen that way. So she told me "I'm not coming back unless we are getting married."
In retrospect that was the time to hang up and change my life but I didn't of course. I agreed and she was back 2 days later. She fucked me in her parents lounge room that night before they were asleep so I knew it was her idea of cementing the deal.
Why was I so fucking dumb? How could I have fallen for a bitch like she turned out to be? Simple. Lust. I didn't know the difference until my first child was born. I never wanted kids either but she did so we had them. Her decision again. But once the first child, my son, arrived I found out what love really was and it wasn't anything like how I felt about her.
This was the love you give to others without condition and expecting nothing back. It is unconditional and is given freely, with my son becoming my first priority in life. Same with each of my children. Great feeling and not one to be missed. Having a child is something I can't describe properly but I think fulfilling is the closest word to how I felt.
SO yeah, I got married, didn't plan to, and she broke it up when it suited her, 14 years gone and I lost everything. Children, her, home, all my belongings (burnt by her), all my memories, gone.
Marriage? To me it's a con and is not natural. Living together IS natural and that is what I have done ever since that bitch was out of my head. There's no difference in how I feel about my partner. Just no wasted vows, expenses and all the rest. My current partner did want me to ask her to get married and despite all my misgivings, I did ask. She said yes but there was no need for us to get married. She just wanted to know that I would if she really wanted it.
Yes, more fucking games but we are still together, 22 years and no end in sight.
I say, don't get married,ever. It just complicates everything and costs way too much. What do you get out of it anyway? A fistful of photgraphs you will grow to dislike. That's about it. Once it's done what is there? Nothing different than just living together.
I think that just living together is a stronger bond than marriage anyway as either of us coulkd have left at any stage without the mess of divorce etc. It's much simpler and shows more of how you love.
Don't fall for that ancient, religious ceremony where you are forced to lie to each other while all your family gets drunk. You don't even get to go to the fucking party after all that!
Don't do it. If you haven't seen a divorce you have missed seeing a train wreck. Get married and it's likely you will be in that train wreck in time. 50% do go through that so why risk it? There is no reason or logic to this. Just society forcing young girls to want marriage, for society's benefit only. Not yours.
I know many of you would have married so do speak up.
Did you have a BIG wedding with all the trimmings and all the family, including the ones you don't like and never have?
Who paid for it and how much did it cost? Do you think that was good value at the time and what about now?
I once married and I thought I was in love, now I know it was simply lust. Oh God did she play games or not? Really fucked up my head and played with my emotions big time. We were in a shared house not too long after we got together, my best friend and her best friend as well, singly.
Well after about 3 months that wasn't good enough for her. I was only 18 at the time so wasn't looking for permanence really. Had no plans at all actually. Just ride the wave of life was me.
So, one Friday I come home and she's gone. Could not find her anywhere and her relatives said they didn't know either. Her best friend had left a couple of weeks before.
I had no idea what was going on and anxiety/panic was tearing me apart. SO I left as well and went back to my father's house in the absence of any alternative as I was becoming very ragged emotionally.
I even rang her half sister who did not like me and it was she who eventually told me "She's gone to New Zealand". I was stunned and just said "Why". She said she didn't know why either but gave me a phone number over there.
I rang and got her and asked her what was going on and she played the "What?" game. Drove me nuts.Over about three days it turned out she wanted to get married and wouldn'nt wait till I asked her. I had not even had the thought so it wasn't going to happen that way. So she told me "I'm not coming back unless we are getting married."
In retrospect that was the time to hang up and change my life but I didn't of course. I agreed and she was back 2 days later. She fucked me in her parents lounge room that night before they were asleep so I knew it was her idea of cementing the deal.
Why was I so fucking dumb? How could I have fallen for a bitch like she turned out to be? Simple. Lust. I didn't know the difference until my first child was born. I never wanted kids either but she did so we had them. Her decision again. But once the first child, my son, arrived I found out what love really was and it wasn't anything like how I felt about her.
This was the love you give to others without condition and expecting nothing back. It is unconditional and is given freely, with my son becoming my first priority in life. Same with each of my children. Great feeling and not one to be missed. Having a child is something I can't describe properly but I think fulfilling is the closest word to how I felt.
SO yeah, I got married, didn't plan to, and she broke it up when it suited her, 14 years gone and I lost everything. Children, her, home, all my belongings (burnt by her), all my memories, gone.
Marriage? To me it's a con and is not natural. Living together IS natural and that is what I have done ever since that bitch was out of my head. There's no difference in how I feel about my partner. Just no wasted vows, expenses and all the rest. My current partner did want me to ask her to get married and despite all my misgivings, I did ask. She said yes but there was no need for us to get married. She just wanted to know that I would if she really wanted it.
Yes, more fucking games but we are still together, 22 years and no end in sight.
I say, don't get married,ever. It just complicates everything and costs way too much. What do you get out of it anyway? A fistful of photgraphs you will grow to dislike. That's about it. Once it's done what is there? Nothing different than just living together.
I think that just living together is a stronger bond than marriage anyway as either of us coulkd have left at any stage without the mess of divorce etc. It's much simpler and shows more of how you love.
Don't fall for that ancient, religious ceremony where you are forced to lie to each other while all your family gets drunk. You don't even get to go to the fucking party after all that!
Don't do it. If you haven't seen a divorce you have missed seeing a train wreck. Get married and it's likely you will be in that train wreck in time. 50% do go through that so why risk it? There is no reason or logic to this. Just society forcing young girls to want marriage, for society's benefit only. Not yours.
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